Sunday, December 5, 2010

Mental Barriers

I am determined to break through some great big mental barriers.  I have these brick walls sitting in front of me and I just know they will come tumbling down with the slightest push of my weakest finger.  Which, by the way, I've heard is your ring finger, lest you get any funny ideas.

My mental barriers are silly, silly, silly, and shallow.  I do not know what to get my son for Christmas.  I have no idea.  I'm stuck, really stuck.  I think this is the first time I have been truly stuck.  Today I gazed longingly at the Toys R Us ads and remembered the simple days of picking out just the right Lego set, or the perfect Thomas the Tank Engine accessory.  No more.  But let me tell you, I am tempted to get him Legos and a train just to make me feel better.  And maybe while I'm at it I'll pick him up a pair of fuzzy feety pajamas to go with that. 

And I have some other silly gift-giving related mental blocks sitting in my head.  That drives me crazy, because my thoughts will wander to that subject so many times a day.  I'll go to sleep tonight trying to figure it all out, I'm sure. 

But I know I can do it.  Today I gave myself PROOF that I can break through mental barriers.  And it came in the form of a long (for me), crisp run with Brad.  We were without kids overnight, and used our time to get together everything for Brenna's birthday, which I am so very excited about.  I can't wait to blog about that, but I don't dare put anything about it in print until the surprise is over.  Anyway, once we got everything for that done today, Brad and I headed out on a run.  I really didn't want to run today.  I wanted to have done it, but I didn't want to do it.  But I did it anyway, and was feeling so good.  It was such a gorgeous day, crisp and cool and some sun...just a perfect day to be outside.  So we ran and ran, mostly enjoying it.  And this evening I went and drove the route we ran.  And guess what?  We went 5.6 miles!  Yes, FIVE POINT SIX MILES!  I broke through my five mile barrier for the first time ever.  I get so tired of real runners - and I am surrounded by them - telling me that going further is all mental.  Huh-uh.  Sometimes it really is physical.  But when I'm wrong, I'm wrong.  And I have been so wrong.  It really IS mental!  I am so excited that I did that. 

I'm going to cling to this lesson as I begin to break down my list-making and figure out how to tackle my other barriers. 

And I have on my counter, a batch of gingerbread biscotti that is at the half-way baking point.  I am experimenting with this, combining a couple recipes to make it into something I may or may not enjoy.  But, whether or not I enjoy the taste, I am immensely enjoying the smell in my home.  I am in love with the smell of gingerbread biscotti.  Mmmm.


  1. The cheerleader in me so wants to come out ONE MORE TIME on your behalf. I am SO proud of you! Good for you, and it's even a BIG step for you to WANT to be outside on a run. Girl? You are such a runner, way to go! The gift thing? I am having a hard time finding time to do ANY of it this year, that is my dilemma....that's where my heart palputation comes in! I better go run myself now to CALM my self DOWN! Have a great day!

  2. Oh, I had to say goodbye to footie jammies this year for all six of my grand-babies. I was sad but all the ones that loved them have out grown them and the two little ones never did like them. Probably the influence of their older siblings.
    Was stuck too on one present, finally had a breakthrough.
    Hope it comes for you.