Monday, January 31, 2011

Multitudes on Monday ~ whether I want to or not

Here's the honest truth.  Not the full truth, for that would be too much information.  But the honest truth is this:  I have so very much to be thankful for, and yet today I am struggling to get myself in a thankful frame of mind.  Or heart. 

I'm sad.  I miss my mom.  Today is her birthday, and I sure wish I was celebrating it with her.  The anniversary of her death is not a hard day for me.  But the days we should be celebrating...those are the days I miss her the most.  And I really could have used a mommy today.

Other things are out of sorts, and it makes my whole attitude out of sorts.  So I wasn't going to do this whole post on my 1000 Gifts today.  But the day is not over yet, and I know I will regret it.  I know I need to.  When I feel it the least is when I need to focus on it the most.



137.  A first grader being almost incapable of walking across a playground; needing to skip, run, or bound.
138.  Deep sighs.
139.  Finals week only coming twice a year.
140.  Commitment.
141.  Running in the rain.
142.  Tree limbs waving back and forth in the wind.
143.  The swooshy sound of cars driving by in the rain.
144.  "This too shall pass", a favorite saying of my mom: I heard it whispered today.
145.  Tulips poking their little green tips out of the ground.
146.  The pure laughter of a child that is contagious.
147.  Showers at the end of the day.  Washin' that day right away.
148.  The theme song to Little House on the Prairie.  (Yes, that's a gift!)
149.  That He is I AM.
150.  The stillness of this very moment.

That's much better.  I knew that would help.  My mind is calmer now, just like I knew it would be.

As I began writing this, my son took a break from studying and is playing the piano.  Just playing as it comes...the beautiful, soothing music that comes from a worshipful heart and a musical gift.  Soft, gentle, and soothing.  Just what I needed.

151.  Beautiful, soothing music that comes from a worshipful heart and a musical gift.

Now I'm done.

3 comments:

  1. I am thankful for you friend.....

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  2. Hi Leanne...
    I never realized your mom and my mom shared birthdays so close together...Your Mom January 31st and My mom February 2nd...
    I bet if they were to have lived near each other they would have been great friends...
    Thinking of you...
    Shelley

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  3. 144... a phrase of my mom's too! Giving you an e-hug. It's weird, I miss your mom too, although I never met her. Hearing your and Brad's stories about her make me miss having the chance to meet her. I'll have to save that introduction for heaven and I'll probably exclaim, "Well Lordy be, Brenna IS a lot like you!" :)

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