Friday, June 11, 2010

It Feels Like Space Mountain All Over Again

Friday evening, thank you so much for coming. 

I am wiped out on this lovely Friday evening when the sun has finally emerged.  Beyond tired.  Sleepy tired and fatigued tired and brain tired.  Just wiped out.  Have I mentioned I am tired?  This "school winding down" thing is not feeling at all like a winding down.  All the "lasts" are pulling us in too many directions right now.  Last concerts.  Last projects.  Last events that make me feeling like high-fiving the checking off of the event rather than the achievement.  We've all been there.  Maybe you are there now with me.  And as one thing winds down, another is winding up.  I feel like I have too many balls in the air, and I am just a thread away from dropping them all. 

My sweet husband took the kids out to dinner and I stayed home just to have a couple hours of a quiet house.  I haven't had a quiet house in...too long.  And it felt so good that I was going to doze off and take a nap.  And then the phone rang and someone wants me to participate in some sort of consumer survey...ugh.

Now that I'm sitting still, I realize that this week has felt exactly like the Space Mountain ride that my family convinced me I would LOVE, and they were oh-so wrong.  This crazy ride whips you through something (I don't know what because it's pitch-black dark) while all these "stars" go blurring by at a dizzying speed.  And then you get whipped from one side to the other, snapped back to center, only to be whipped back in another direction.  I hated it.  I could not see my children to know if they were okay (although they rode it 4 times before convincing me to join them).  I was afraid to even scream, for fear that something other than a scream would come flying out of my mouth.  If that ride had lasted even 20 more seconds, there would have been an ugly scene.  I came off pasty white and moving very slowly.  I had to sit still on a bench for more that an hour after that ride just to convince my stomach that the cruelty was over.  Yep, I was one of "those" that you notice, give a glance of pity, and then take a wide path around them in case anything projectile is about to happen. 

So that's me right now.  I'm finally sitting still, convincing my mind that it can be still.  I don't need to think about tomorrow right now.  I don't need to think about Monday right now.  I certainly don't need to worry about the fact that vacation is creeping up on me and I feel incredibly, overwhelmingly unprepared.  I just want to go there.  Show up and just have fun.  Kind of like my kids get to do, I guess.  But so much to do between now and then, and nothing of it needs to be done tonight.  Tonight I will just be still and enjoy that I stepped off the ride, even if only for the night. 

And it's all good stuff that's bringing the craziness right now.  I'm thankful, truly thankful, for that.  I'm happy that my life is filled with kids that make this time of year crazy.  I'm happy that this job has worked out in a way that brings me great joy.  Thankful, thankful, thankful.  Thankful that I have a son that just cracks me up with his movie version of Romeo and Juliet that features the cast of Star Wars.  Thankful that all 3 kids fill my ears and heart with their music.  I'm thankful for my kids' happy social lives that keep my taxi-van in motion.  Thankful to have friends that I love so deeply it physically hurts my heart to say goodbye.  I'm thankful that there is no trauma or tough situation that is making our life crazy.  I fully embrace that I am blessed beyond measure to have this type of craziness right now.  I would have it no other way.

I'm going to bed early tonight.  I'm getting up early in the morning and having another crazy day.  A day that will be very tiring in a different sort of way.  More on that later.  I don't want to go there during this still moment.

And this picture reminds me of something very important:  super heroes are for Disneyland.  They are for cartoonists to draw and animators to bring to life.  They are a character to pose with at Disneyland.  I love Mrs. Incredible, I dearly love her.  But I am not her.  I'm just me.  And I'm perfectly content with that.  And perfectly content to check out of the busyness for this evening and just be still.

And just for kicks, look at what the last two years has done to Alex:

Now that's incredible!


  1. I'll bet when you sat down to write a 'little post' you didn't realize in that tired head that you had that much going on in there. No wonder you are tired. I am thankful for you my friend, I love ya, get some rest so that you may endure your BIG day tomorrow...nite, nite..

  2. Thinking of you today Leanne! Love ya...wish I lived closer!