A Chocolate Chip Conspiracy???

So I've been pondering my conversation with my doctor yesterday. It all started out innocently enough. All I really needed was for him to review my labs, tell me that yes, my thyroid levels were holding fine and here's the refill for your meds. That's all. But he apparently was in a giving sort of mood, for he gave me more than that. Much more.

It can partly be summed up in a very simple word. Cholesterol. Not a bit surprising to me at all, my cholesterol is creepin up too high. "It's not bad," he said. "It's just not good." Those are fighting words to me! I don't like to be "not bad, just not good" at anything. Especially something inside me. Especially with this pesky family history lurking in the back - okay, front - of my mind. So we started the long and tedious conversation about cholesterol. What a tiring topic. I told him I know the right things to do in my mind, I just need to apply them. And I will. Try. I will try. But that wasn't enough for him.

"Tell me what you could do better with your diet." Oh, please. Do we really have time to get into all that?? I'm needing to eat more veggies. Yes, I know. I don't eat much red meat, so not a whole lot to eliminate there. But then I got brave and divulged my love for all things baked, specifically chocolate chip cookies. With real butter, of course. "Okay," he says, "so tell me about how many cookies per day we are talking about." WHAT?! Then he grinned and rubbed his forehead in an exasperated fatherly sort of way, and said, "I think that is the first time I have ever asked a patient that question. That question usually has something to do with one's alcohol use, not cookie use." I assured him I was not a daily chocolate-chip-cookie consumer. In my dreams.

I then had to listen to my doctor give me advice about improving my baking. He wanted to brainstorm with me ways I could still do what I love and make it not quite so offensive to my cholesterol. I appreciate the effort, doc, really I do. But just be my doctor. I'll let Paula Deen continue to be my recipe source.

This comes on the heel of 3 different people informing me that the price of chocolate chips is expecting to take a jump this winter because of some shortage of something vital to production of chocolate. Details, details.

So, I'm feeling a bit ganged up on in my little chocolate chip cookie world. In fact, I think my keyboard and fingers are in on it, too. I just tried to type "chocolate chip" and out came "chocolate hip". Coincidence? Typing skills? Chocolate chip conspiracy??

I then went on to be told that no, that swelling in my knee is not something that will likely just go away. He told me to not run for 3-4 weeks. Excuse me? This is getting my anxiety level up. First a discussion about baked goods and then telling me I shouldn't run.

Lastly, thanks to some family history provided by my brother, I am scheduled for a test I otherwise would be able to put off for 10 more years. Lovely. In this case, I guess 40 is the new 50. Or maybe 80, as I've just written an entire post complaining about a visit to the doctor.

I did not run today. Tomorrow? We'll see. I did not eat chocolate chip cookies today. Yet. Tomorrow? Again, we'll see. Maybe an upcoming Monday Menu will feature some kind of cholesterol-lowered chocolate chip cookie. I shudder at the thought, but...we'll see!